2011 was full of firsts. I learnt a lot about who I am and what I want in life. But I also realized that I wasn’t living the life I wanted for myself but rather the life I thought I wanted. I wanted the perfect Grade 12 experience with the perfect prom, the perfect date and the perfect friends. I did not get all that I wanted. My friends were far from perfect but they were there and I love them all for that. My prom sucked. And grade 12.. well it could have been better. I also learned that jut because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it. I regret nothing though as I am still learning about who, ‘Naadirah Hassan’ really is. But hopefully 2012 will treat me better. And I made some resolutions on how I want to get to where I want to be.
1. Get my G2. I’ve had my G1 for 2 years now, I think it’s time to upgrade.
2. Find a hobby. I think I’ll enjoy St. Kitts a lot more if I find something I like to do there. A few things on the list, learn how to sew, learn how to apply eye makeup really well and take a photography course (film not digital).
3. Finish my novel. I want to finish writing my novel and attempt to get it published. Even if it doesn’t get published I want that experience of putting my work out there for others to see and hopefully enjoy.
4. Learn the balance between trusting someone and opening up to someone. I think my biggest problem is that as soon as I trust someone I’m able to talk to them about everything even though I shouldn’t. I need to find out who really cares about me and who wants the gossip.
5. Make new/better friends. I’m going to put in much more of an effort to meet people in St Kitts. And the friends I do have, well if they’re bringing me down there’s no reason to have them in my life.
6. Volunteer more. I loved volunteering throughout high school since it made me feel like I was accomplishing something so I think I need to do more of it in uni.
7. Communicate with my parents more. I now know that they are willing to listen even if they disagree.
8. Spend less money/get a job. If I want to splurge then I need a job because using my parents’ money makes me feel guilty sometimes.
9. Audition for a play. This will help me become more confident again and will let me explore my acting chops. I don’t know why I even tried to cut out the drama department from my life.
10. Most of all be happy. This is all I really want. I just want to be happy with what ever I’m doing and where ever I am. I’m going to stop dwelling on the negatives and look towards the positives.
2012 is going to be about me and my happiness. And if you’re not in my life to keep me positive then I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways. 2012 is about making me happy and not living for others to be proud. I am going to do what I what and when I want it because I deserve to be me.